Vladimir Vladimirovich (vlad_impaler) wrote,
Vladimir Vladimirovich
vlad_impaler

Russian traitors, you can relax; this year my birthday present was:

Meet Putin's softer side...his pet tiger cub!"
Times UK
Cute, right? I mean me, not the tiger cub. But I'm a little worried about the caption under that picture: "Vladimir Putin gazes longingly at his tiger cub".

If anyone wants to gaze longingly at something, it should be my new Judo DVD, which is, according to journalists (and you know I would never like to contradict or criticize them) "yet another display of my masculinity."

You may remember I mentioned this DVD to you several months ago when we were making it. As my...*cough*...er...masculinity is already well known, I think a better tag-line for it would be what I said before: "If you've ever wanted to watch me roll around with men and press my body against them, this is the DVD for you."

Anyway, I expect all of you will be in a hurry to purchase a copy. No discounts offered, I'm afraid. If you're a Westerner, Russia has sold off far too many of its vital natural resources to you at a cheap price already. And if you're a respectable patriot Russian, you should willingly sacrifice your last kopeck for this. On that note, apologies to those faithful citizens who have left me such endearing comments: as this journal is a key part of our Russian KGB overseas propaganda network, I employ an Anglophone secretary to type up my dictation.

(btw, thank you to Dominique for the private birthday wishes, but you will not induce me to leave Georgia...ok...well, I'll think about it...maybe...yes, fine, dammit!)
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