Christmas is not celebrated in Russia for quite a while, but I thought I'd pop up to reassure you that I am not letting the onerous responsibility of power weaken my health. I even asked Santa for some more power. Medvedev had better deliver, or there will be coal for him next Christmas. ( A great deal of it, actually.). I suppose I should also ask for something to be done about this, but last time I made a similar request, the world picked on me.
I haven't felt much like posting because it seems I can't do anything without being criticized (except by those understanding people at Time magazine). Take the recent elections. No, they weren't free, but who cares? They were democratic. I know what the people want. Also, my popularity climbed to 101% last week, so clearly this shows the elections were democratic. Not like the ones in Western countries, such as Britain, where parties "win" with only 35% of the vote at best. Clearly they are jealous and wish to attack me to cover up their own democratic failures. Like I said earlier this year, only Gandhi would have understood me, because we are so similar.
Still, there is one thing not even westerners could criticize is my new Judo DVD. If you've ever wanted to watch me roll around with men and press my body against them, this is the DVD for you.
That really cheered me up this month, until a libel was published about my having amassed 20 billion pounds through corruption.
I need not tell you what ridiculous propaganda this is. These Western journalists have clearly not heard of my new DVD. Let's see... 20 billion British pounds (2,000,000,000,000) is about 979,479,459,652,180.88 rubles. Now, Russia has 141,377,752 loyal, patriotic citizens. Set a reasonable price of about 2,448.70 rubles (50 British pounds), and you do the maths.